Political rivalry

Political rivals Cora Cow and Preston Pig have turned the corner in their race for bragging rights in the barnyard.

Youngsters to the McClain County Fair on School Children’s Day (September 9) will pick the winner in this hard-fought election.

Polls will be open from 9 a.m. until noon.

Both candidates are newcomers to politics and their campaigns, sad to report, have devolved largely to name-calling and baseless accusations.

Each has accused the other of disseminating “fake news,” leaving this reporter scrambling to stick to the facts.

“I am by far the most nutritious candidates,” mooed Cora Cow. “I am udderly for Nutrition First. My butterfat is so good for you. Not like that grease rendered by Mr. Pig!”

Cora Cow has pledged to “Make Ice Cream Great Again” and pointed out that such notables as McClain Bank agree.

The bank, she added smugly, is sponsoring the fair’s ice cream social on September 8.

Preston Pig, in response,  called Cora Cow out for what he termed a “sour milk campaign.”

The pink-faced porker accused Cora Cow of pandering to the powerful dairy goat lobby.

Touting his impressive hams and high IQ – fact: pigs ARE much smarter than cows – Preston Pig pledged to deliver bacon at every meal.

And while he accused Cora Cow of dealing under the table with dairy goats, this reporter has learned Preston Pig has his own suspect alliances to explain.

There is new evidence that he is in cahoots with a political action committee comprised largely of laying hens.

Before the barnyard turns into a war zone, the voters will have to step in and end this spat.