Marketing puzzles me.

Oh, I understand the part about selling merchandise.

It’s the merchandise some vendors want you to buy that I just don’t get.

I was driving to work the other day and saw a billboard for Dr. Pepper scented tissues.

I was looking for the billboard the next day and there it was, facing southbound I-35 traffic between State Highway 9 West and Goldsby

This had to be someone’s idea of a Halloween prank or oversize joke, right?

No, really, facial tissues that smell like Dr. Pepper!

Why I haven’t a clue. I mean, who thinks these things up?

I sometimes watch the show Shark Tank. It is interesting how the financiers react to some of the products and the people who are convinced they have created the world’s next better mousetrap.

Some of the products are intriguing on some level. And others? Well when the last money man or woman passes on a proposal, it’s simply their way of telling the funding seeker “We hope you didn’t give up your day job for this.”

So as I’m driving along the interstate, I’m trying to envision an entrepreneur enthusing on a process he’s developed to infuse facial tissues with Dr. Pepper scent molecules.

The trick, I’m sure, must be to accomplish this without making the tissue soggy or sticky.

But that may be just supposition on my part.

I decided to do a little online sleuthing since the billboard advertising this wondrous product stopped short of saying where you could buy it.

I googled Dr. Pepper scented tissues and, tucked among such gems as the history of tissues and Kleenex facts, I found drpepperpitstop.com.

That site brought up an order form for an on-the-go pocket pack of the scented tissues for $9.99 to ship on November 16.

A product blurb read “Get a sneak peak of the Dr. Pepper Pick-Me-Up Pack (coming soon). From breakups to upsets, you’ll be crying tears of joy with your limited edition Dr. Pepper Scented Tissues.”

At that price, I doubt the tears I shed would have anything to do with joy.

 I was then curious at using a billboard to advertise the product. 

This particular billboard is either 14-by-48 feet or 12-by-36. Those are the most common sizes and going by at 70 mph, it’s hard for me to gauge whether the thing is 432 or 672 square feet.

At that location, however, a billboard costs the advertiser something like $1,600 or $1,700 for four weeks.

Which I guess explains why a pocket pack of smelly tissues costs $9.99.

Dr. Pepper is popular, but will Pepsi and Coke lovers be turned off? Coffee and tea drinkers feel snubbed?

That alone may give the inventor something to cry about.

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