Three snack foods are at it again.
Frank Furter, Tony Taco and Poppa B. Corn tossed their condiments into the ring last week, setting up a three-way race for the office of Kids’ Favorite Snack.
The three are on a short run for the election.
The polling place at the McClain County Fair will be open just 3 hours from 9 a.m. to noon Friday.
There are already rumors of potential ballot box stuffing. It is School Children’s Day at the fair on Friday and there are reports the candidates will be busing in young voters.
Frank Furter is the only candidate to have named a running mate – a bun.
He is dipping into a vast array of hot dog toppings to increase his appeal across all classes of voters. However, there may be a split in the chili camp with some defections to Tony Taco.
“I’m not worried,” Frank Furter stated. “I am an American classic. I’ve brought flavor to this campaign. I look forward to serving as Kids’ Favorite Snack for a full term.”
That term will expire during the 2019 McClain County Fair.
Tony Taco pooh-poohed any talk of stealing voters from Frank Furter.
“I don’t need to steal votes or flavors,” he declared. “My flavor profile is perfect. I am the ideal candidate. I have a crunchy side and a soft side. After all, who doesn’t love a taco?”
Poppa B. Corn so far has avoided the fray heating up between his fellow candidates.
A wise move, politically, as too much hot oil and, well, you know what that does to popcorn.
And speaking of oil, it looks like Poppa B. Corn has cleaned up his image since the last election, foregoing that extra splash of melted butter on his head.
“I can be salty or sweet or a bit of both,” he boasted. “It’s all as the situation warrants. I am also both lightly airy and filling. Neither of my opponents can say that. I have connections in Hollywood. Face it, no one settles in to munch away on some hot dog or taco while watching a movie.”
McClain County Election Board Secretary and her staff will be at the fair to ensure only qualified voters mark ballots.
In a 3-way race, the winner must receive more than 50 percent of the votes.
If that doesn’t happen, the two top vote getters will go head-to-head in a runoff election at a future date to be announced.