Kids’ Favorite Critter

Youngsters visiting the McClain County Free Fair on Friday will be asked to vote for their favorite critter living in the county. The special election will be conducted by the McClain County Election Board.

A hotly contested three-way race for Kids’ Favorite Critter is shaping up and will be decided by young voters visiting the McClain County Free Fair on Friday.

Candidates for the year long term are Sophie Squirrel, Oliver Owl and Baxter Beaver.

Bowing out of politics this year is the entire edible slate from 2018 who ran for Kids’ Favorite Snack.

“If they are going to forego good tastes in 2019, we are out,” declared Frank Furter, Tony Taco and Poppa B. Corn.

Sophie Squirrel is riding on her looks, a plush coat, broad brimmed hat with flower and fluffy tail.

And wide support from the Acorn Party.

She is often seen stumping on the campaign trail, clutching an acorn in her petite paw.

Sophie Squirrel has pledged to represent all mammals, marsupials, birds, fish and serpents in McClain County if she is elected.

“That’s the ladylike thing to do,” she said.

So far she hadn’t said if insects and arachnids are welcome in that constituency.

Those attributes are deemed frivolous by Oliver Owl.

“I am a wise bird,” Oliver Owl said. “All owls are wise and I am the wisest owl I know. No other owl even comes close to what I know. I am, wings down, the smartest bird in the race.

“My opponents can’t see their way out of a dark room, whereas I have superior owl vision and big eyes.”

Baxter Beaver is the election’s dark horse, generally preferring to work on numerous dam constructions across the county.

He has also been the target of a rumor mill and stories are circulating that he is using campaign donations to pay an orthodontist to correct his pronounced overbite.

“Absoluthly falth,” he lisped. “It’h fake newth.”

McClain County Election Board Secretary Karen Haley said the polling place will be open on election day from 8 a.m. to noon.

Her staff has confirmed that all three candidates live and thrive in McClain County.

Expecting a tight race, Haley said a run-off election will be necessary if no candidate receives more than 50 percent of the vote on election day.

“More information on the runoff will follow after the election,” Haley said.

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